Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way

Books

What you're reading right now is known as the "flap copy." This is where the 72,444 words of my latest book, Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, are cooked down to fit in a 3 1⁄2-by-9 1⁄2-inch column. But how does one do that with a fictional story about a B movie actor's disastrous attempt to finally star in a big-budget Hollywood movie? Do you tantalize readers with snappy zingers like the one in chapter six where Biff the Wonder Boy says, "You may be bred in ol' Kentucky, but you're only a crumb up here"? Or do you reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing finger and shouts, "The killer is Mr. Potter!" I have too much respect for you as an attention-deficient consumer to attempt such an obvious ruse. But let's not play games here. You've already picked up the book, so you either: A. Know who I am B. Like the cool smoking jacket I'm wearing on the cover C. Have just discovered that the bookstore restroom is out of toilet paper Is ...