I'm Glad You're Dead

Books

My name is John Cook, and my life began the day I died. What would it take for you to sacrifice your soul? As it turns out, watching my family be brutally murdered was all it took for me. Was it worth it? I'll let you decide... Fast-forward five centuries, and I'm now the last vampire on Earth, with a robust collection of refined snark, pop culture references, and enough run-on sentences to make an English teacher return my test, face down. Things are going good, but there's just one teeny tiny problem: I've met an angel and personally slayed demons, so I know there's an afterlife. That being said, I've, ahem, control-alt-deleted my fair share of mortals since the 1400s. But I have a good excuse! I was hungies! Regardless, I'm pretty sure that's frowned upon by the man upstairs. But what to do with a sin-drenched soul that is basically pre-marinated for Hell's barbecue? Enter Father Thomes-a modern-day Houston priest with the patience of a saint and the tolerance of a man who's fought the good fight his ...